Never Thought We'd Be Like This
by Laugh-till-it hurts
Summary: Brittany broke Santana when she left her 5 years ago. Now Brittany's getting married and wants Santana as her maid of honor. And with these two, nothing is certain. Angst&AU
1. Chapter 1

Santana's sitting in a club in New York when she gets the call. Her phone rings from inside the clutch, resting on the table. Glancing at the screen she doesn't recognize the number but she answers it anyways. Sliding the bar across the touch pad, she puts the phone up to her ear.

"Hello?" She speaks into her iPhone.

"Hi." A soft, familiar voice answers back. It's too loud in the club to hear too well but something about the voice is putting her on edge.

"Who is this?" She asks. The person on the other end doesn't respond for a few moments. "If you don't tell me, I'm hanging up."

"Santana…" They trail off, their voice even softer than before. Possibly a hint of sadness but it's too hard to tell.

"Who is this?" Santana demands. The way they say her name grabs her attention into knowing who the caller is.

"Brittany." She answers. Santana freezes. The phone is still being held to her ear. "Are you there? San?" Hearing that nickname come from those lips makes her eyes close and breathing stop. It's too much.

"H-hang on." She manages to push out. Sliding out from the rounded booth, Santana quickly makes her way outside. The breeze is surprising to her warm skin but feels nice compared to the heat inside. The blonde on the other end seems to have notice the difference in noise because she starts talking again.

"Hey." Brittany greets again, Santana can practically see the smile grazing her face.

"Hi." She replies shortly, not trusting her voice.

"How've you been?" Brittany asks casually. Santana's rage bubbles over at the question. _Is she seriously asking me how I'm doing?_

"I've been just great, Brittany. Fantastic." She spits out. Santana knows she's being harsh, but she can't control herself. Leaning her body against the brick wall, she tries to compose her anger.

"San…I'm so sorry…" Her voice wavers and cracks a little at the end, and Santana knows those are the telltale signs of her crying. She softens a bit but not nearly enough to let her guard down.

"Yeah. Too late for that now, don't you think? Is that all you wanted to say? Sorry? After 4 years? You promised that we would be together forever." Brittany doesn't respond for moment so Santana almost lets her mind drift back to the time Brittany said those words, but she stops herself from unlocking those memories she kept tucked away to spare herself from heartbreak. She still hasn't answered, so she thinks that maybe she hung up. Pushing off the wall, Santana brushes her fingers through her dark brown locks and pulls the phone away from her ear. She checks the screen, but the call is still in progress. Finally she hears her whisper a response.

"No…I just want to be friends again. I miss having my best friend." Santana scoffs at her request. "I know and I'm sorry." She adds quietly, referring to her promise of being together forever. She clenches her jaw to keep from saying anything she'll regret. It's been so long since she's heard her voice and as much as it pains her to admit it she misses her back. So instead Santana just chuckles bitterly.

"Well sorry, Brittany, but I don't think we can just start going back to that now." Does she think that you can just fall back into being friends after the history you've had together?

"Please...I miss you so much." Brittany's crying again.

"Yeah? Then why did you leave?" Her tone has lost the edge but remains firm and hard. She knows that it's going to take a while for her to come up with a response.

"I-I don't know." Brittany confesses. Santana's secretly waiting to hear that the blonde wants her back and that she made a huge mistake, but after waiting for her to continue, she doesn't. She takes a deep breath and hopes her voice doesn't show her disappointment.

"Is that all?"

"Santana…" Brittany pleads, she's glad she can't see her or else she probably would've broken down. However, she holds her resolve as much as it pains her.

"Look, if the only reason you called is to tell me that you miss me and want to be friends, then I'm sorry I wasted your time because it's not going to happen." Santana explains.

After a few tense seconds, Santana hears a sigh on the other end. She's ready to hang up and forget that this call ever happened but Brittany's voice comes through, gentle and soft.

"Look, there is a reason I called is…I'm getting married." Santana's heart constricts and there's a gut wrenching feeling in her stomach. She immediately feels the need to kill her fiancé. No one is good enough for Brittany. _Her_ Brittany. Or at least she used to be hers. She should have seen this coming. Of course she would move on. While she was wallowing in sadness, Brittany was out meeting someone and forgetting about her.

"And why the fuck did you feel the need to call and tell me? Want to rub it in my face? Cause congratulations, I'm happy for you." Santana knows she would never purposely do, that but she's hurt. The words just fall out of her mouth.

"No, Santana." She still has a kind tone even though she's been nothing but mean and forceful towards her. "I want you to be my Maid of honor." The brunette doesn't know what to say. A million thoughts are rushing through her head. It would make sense if they had stayed friends, and if Santana was supportive of their marriage. Of course they hadn't, and she wasn't.

"Can't you find someone else?" Santana asks plainly, dropping her head and looking down the busy New York street.

"I could, but I only want you." Brittany's answer makes her want to melt but she knows that she can't let herself fall back into her. She lets out a short laugh. She's got to wonder if her fiancé knows she's bisexual and if he knows about her.

"Does your fiancé know about our…past?" Santana asks, genuinely curious if Brittany told him.

"No…he only knows that we're best friends." She replies in a small voice.

"We used to be best friends." Santana corrects coldly.

"San-"

"You know what? It doesn't matter. So sorry to disappoint but I'm not going to do it."

"San, please. I need you." Brittany pleads. Santana has some satisfaction that after all this time she still needs her. She thinks it over for a moment but realizes it's not the best time to make her decision. Anger and jealousy is coursing through her veins more than the alcohol is right now, and that's not a good mix.

"Look, I'm busy right now. I'll text you with my answer tomorrow."

"Okay!" Her tone has brightened considerably, almost as if she had said yes.

"K. I have to go." Santana replies shortly.

"Bye San." There's a silent pause. "I love you." Her voice wavers in anticipation. She can't even process what Brittany just said. After she left, Santana would've done anything to hear those words come from her mouth one more time. It's not the same anymore. Now that she hears them, it's like she's frozen.

"I-I…" Santana stutter uselessly. She's been the only person that's made her ever do that. She's the only one that's been able to render her speechless and stumbling over her words. Unable to say something, Santana just pulls the phone from your ear and quickly presses the End Call box at the bottom of the screen. Staring at her phone for a moment, she resists the urge to just hurl it into the street. So instead she shoves it back in her purse and walks back into the club.

When she plops back down into the booth, Quinn leans over and yells into her ear,

"What was that about?" She can say a lot of things about what just happened. Instead, she gives her an answer that explains everything.

"Brittany." Santana responds simply. She says it quietly but the way Quinn is looking at her, Santana knows she heard loud and clear.

"Oh shit." She covers her hand over her mouth, and her eyes widen in shock. "And?"

"Can we talk about this later? I need a drink." She sighs, feeling drained of her emotions. Quinn understands, and immediately signals a waiter to the table. She starts ordering drinks and Santana zones out, trying to contemplate what she's going to do. Vaguely, she hears Quinn telling him to make sure she always have a drink in front of her. Santana is so grateful for her right now.

When the drinks come, and keep coming, she tosses back the alcohol like its water. And for once, Quinn doesn't try to stop her. She doesn't say that she's going to regret it later, she doesn't say that she's going to embarrass herself, she just watches with caring, hazel eyes as Santana drowns out what just transpired between her and the woman she once loved.

**A/N: It's short, but I wanted to see if people liked it. So if you did, please review and I'll be sure to continue. :) Also if anyone is a beta-reader and would like to do that, please P.M. me about it. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Sorry for the wait everyone:( Thanks for all the reviews! I love hearing feedback. I realized that I said Santana would be the bridesmaid when I should've said Maid of Honor because they're the bride's right hand woman, right? I've also decided to change where Brittany lives. So she'll live in New York too. I want Santana to go through all the processes that a maid of honor would. Like going to cake tasting, bridal dress shopping, venue picking, etc. Getting engaged; and then actually married takes place over months or years so it wouldn't be realistic for Santana to just leave New York and go to L.A., especially since she would probably have a job to worry about. I didn't want this story to cover the span of only two weeks or so. I think regaining relationship takes time and I didn't want this to be rushed. I updated the previous chapter to correct the things I messed up on. Oh I wanted to mention that I like to go into detail with what the characters are wearing. I don't know why but I feel the need to explain it for some reason. I'll probably only do it with like Santana, Quinn, Brittany, and Brittany's fiancé. I'm having trouble coming up with a name for him. So if you leave a review, please suggest some ideas. I might use it!**

Santana wakes to the feeling of sunlight on her face and a massive pounding in her head. She groans and turns to bury her face in the pillow.

Today already fucking sucks.

Slowly, she opens her eyes, blinking a few times to clear her vision. She tries to remember the night before but most of its fuzzy. She can only really remember talking to Brittany. Just saying the name in her head makes Santana wince a little. She can't fathom the thought of seeing Brittany, let alone knowing that she's getting married. She still has to give the blonde her decision. The mental dilemma is just adding onto her already painful headache.

Glancing at the clock, she sees it's already 2 in the afternoon. Figuring it's time to face the music, Santana throws the covers off and walks into her bathroom. She catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror and cringes. She looks like complete shit right now. Twisting the shower knob to hot, she finds the noise of the water slapping the tile calming. Santana wishes the the jets could just wash away her problems and get rid of the heavy feeling in her chest.

30 minutes later, she's stepping out of the shower feeling clean and fresh. Drying herself off, she wipes the condensation from the mirror. Santana stares at her reflection, attempting to distinguish any changes that have happened in the last 5 years. She notices that her face has aged a bit, just in a more grown up kind of way. Her body is in the same, or even a little better shape than it was before. The muscles in her thighs and stomach are toned and strong. Her boobs still look great too. She didn't expect much change there; silicone stays pretty much the same.

Santana saunters back into her room and throws on a simple outfit of dark wash skinny jeans, a low cut crew-neck navy blue shirt, and an over-sized, white heather cable-knit boyfriend cardigan.

* * *

><p>Padding into the living area she and Quinn share, she sees the blonde sitting on the couch engrossed in a book. Hearing the noise, she looks up.<p>

"Hey." Quinn greets, putting the book aside. She's dressed in a flowery sun dress. No surprise there. It's yellow with large white flowers accented with dark gray outlines.

"Hi." Santana replies, moving to sit down on the opposite end of the couch.

"Are you going to do it?" Quinn asks bluntly.

"Do what?" She questions, trying to avoid the painful topic she knows is coming.

"I know what you and Brittany talked about last night." Santana gives her a confused look. "She called me this morning." Quinn explains, turning her body so that her back is on the arm rest and one leg is bent off the edge of the couch. The brunette does the same but brings her legs on the cushions and stretches her legs out, kicking the blonde's ass in the process. Sighing, Santana runs a hand through her damp hair.

"I don't know what to do." She admits, lolling her head back to stare at the ceiling.

"I think you should do it." Quinn advises evenly. Santana's head snaps back up to look at her.

"You do?" Her eyebrow arches in surprise.

"Yes." She confirms, nodding slowly. Santana doesn't think Quinn understands the inner battle she's going through. Frankly, Santana's surprised that she's suggesting that she should be Brittany's Maid of honor. Quinn was there for Santana after Brittany broke her heart. She saw the pain and sadness she went through.

"Why? Why should I go waste my time helping _her _plan a wedding to some douche bag I don't even know? We haven't talked in 5 years, and now she just wants me to be her best friend again." Santana responds her voice rising in volume as her hostility progressively mounts. "I just can't go back to that." She adds, quieter.

"Because she loves you, and I know you still love her." Quinn states simply, trying to catch her friend's stare. Santana looks away, refusing to meet her gaze. Deep down she knows that Quinn's right but isn't about to go around confessing that her feelings have remained the whole time.

"She might still love me, but I know I sure as hell don't." Santana scoffs.

"You don't?" Quinn cocks her head to the side. "I seem to remember that last night, in your drunken state; you confided the hidden feelings that you still have for a certain blonde. Even though you were a sobbing, hysterical mess, I managed to decode your… heartfelt confession."

"I was drunk. I didn't know what I was saying." Santana denies, shrugging it off as a drunken admission that didn't mean anything, even though they both know that she always tells her real feelings while wasted.

"Are you sure about that?" Quinn asks, smiling a bit.

"Yes!" Santana protests; getting annoyed by her smugness.

"Well let me give you a little recap into what you blabbed to me last night. I know you sure as hell don't remember." She smirks, earning a glare from the brunette.

_Santana's picking up and downing every drink in sight. Quinn watches her best friend. It physically pains her to see her so hurt. She knows something important went on between Santana and Brittany. She isn't sure what, but by judging her current state, she can conclude that it wasn't good news for Santana. Quinn was there when Brittany left. Their break up tore her up from in the inside out. Santana could barely pull herself out of bed for the first few weeks. Quinn decided to move in to help transition her back into life again. She cleaned her up, and tidied up their apartment. She also hid all the things that reminded Santana of Brittany since the brunette started crying every time she saw a trace of the blonde. Eventually Quinn had to tell her the harsh truth. Brittany left. She reminded her that she was still the strong, beautiful, woman she was before. Step by step, Santana got back to her normal self, possibly a little bitchier but she had nonetheless returned for the most part. Quinn's snapped from her memories by a bawling Santana clutching onto her arm. _

_"I-I can't believe her!" The Latina sobs out. Her mascara is running down her face and fresh tears are streaming down her cheeks._

_"What did she do, honey?" Quinn asks, wrapping her arms around the smaller girl and attempting to sit them down. She successfully stumbles back into the booth with Santana half on top of her. _

_"Sh-she ju-ust calls me! I mean o-out of nowhere, riiight? Do you kno-ow what she wants me to do? Do ya?" The brunette cries angrily. _

_"What does she want you to do?" The hazel-eyed woman questions, trying to read her friend's face; but is unsuccessful in doing so. _

_"Brittany! S-she's gettin' marrieeed!" Santana slurs, throwing her arms up. Quinn gasps, not believing what she just heard. It's always been Brittany and Santana. She always thought that one day they would find their way back to each other…maybe not. "I can't belieeve it! Ho-ow can she…she…ella se trasladó en…"_

_"But wait, what does she want you to do?" She tries to get Santana to focus but her attention is currently on the colorful shot glasses in front of her. Quinn pushes them away, wanting answers from the brown-eyed woman. Santana brings her eyes back to Quinn's face, her eyes are glassy and filled with so many emotions. _

_"She wants me to be her maid of honor." Santana mumbles, dropping her head into her hands. Quinn grabs the distraught girl and cradles her in her arms. It's the only really coherent thing Santana's said, but it slips by the blonde as she comforts the Latina. As Quinn rests her chin on Santana's shoulder, she can't help but think that's it's kind of a slap in the face for Brittany to ask Santana to be her Maid of honor. She's sure that the blonde never meant for it to be like that, but asking your ex-girlfriend to be in your wedding is a little cruel, even if they were best friends. _

_"Do you still love her?" Quinn whispers into her ear. She's pretty sure she knows the answer, but she needs to hear it from Santana herself. She also knows that she won't admit the truth if she's sober so this is her chance to find out._

_"Yes." Santana reveals, moving her head back to lock eyes with Quinn. She gulps thickly, tears threatening to spill over on her already wet cheeks. "I never stopped loving her… not once. I've thought about her every single day since she left." She stops to catch her breath. "I know I should hate her for what she did, but I can't, Quinn!" Santana buries her face in her shoulder, clawing desperately at her back._

Quinn looks to Santana to watch her reaction. Her tanned face has turned hard and stern. The eyes that Quinn had seen blurred with tears; are now a cold brown. She can interpret those changes in her friend. Quinn knows that Santana's guard was down for that night. She realizes that her defenses are back up and stronger than ever to protect herself from heartbreak again.

"It won't happen again." Santana says firmly.

"I understand that-"

"Can we please not ever mention that night again?" Santana requests, her features vulnerable and pleading, a quick transformation from her harsh expression a few seconds before. Quinn wants them to talk about what happened, but she doesn't want to push her into anything. Nodding her head, Quinn obliges to her plea. Santana's relieved that no one will ever know about her admission of love for Brittany.

"What are you going to do?" Quinn asks, referring to the wedding. Taking a deep breath, Santana sighs and then clenches her jaw in thought. She turns her head to look out the window, staring blankly at something beyond the glass. After a few moments, she twists back to face Quinn.

"I'll do it." Santana finally replies. She bites her lip, already wondering if agreeing was the right thing to so.

"Are you sure?" Quinn noticed the habit she does when she's unsure of something.

"Ugh, no! Are you trying to make me reconsider?" Santana exclaims.

"Of course not, it's just…seeing her and _him, _will be a lot to handle. Can you manage seeing her for the first time in 5 years?"

Santana rolls her eyes. She really does treat her like a child sometimes, but she knows it's only because Quinn cares so much. "Yeah, I think I can. I know it won't be easy, but I'm not the irrational teenager I was high school." Quinn shoots her an '_Are you kidding me?'_ look. "Okay so I'm still a little irrational." Santana relents. "I can assure you that I won't just lose my temper every time I get angry, or annoyed, or…"

"Jealous?" Quinn finishes quietly.

"I don't know. I honestly don't know how I'll react when I see them together." Santana warns.

"Look, if you need help, I'll come along too. Brittany invited me to be one of her bridesmaids."

"Alright, thanks, Quinn." Santana gets up to hug the blonde. Quinn stands too. They wrap their arms around each other in a friendly embrace.

"You should call her." Quinn urges as she pulls away.

"Yeah I will." Santana agrees.

* * *

><p>After some convincing from Quinn, Santana agrees to call Brittany right away. Quinn watches amusedly from the couch as she paces back and forth across the carpet.<p>

"It's not funny, Fabray!" Santana snaps, half playful, half serious.

"I'm sorry! It's just haven't seen you this nervous in a while."

Doing a few breathing exercises Quinn taught her, she manages to calm down. Santana unlocks her phone and dials Brittany's number on the touch screen. She anxiously waits for her to pick up.

"Hey, San!" Brittany's cheery voice comes through.

"Hi." Santana doesn't know what to say. She isn't sure if she should just come out and say that she accepts her offer of being in her wedding or is she should wait for Brittany to bring it up. "I've made my decision." She finally forces out. Santana mentally slaps herself for sounding so stupid.

"And?" Brittany gulps unsurely.

"After thinking about it and talking to Quinn, I've decided that… I'll do it." _For you_ she mentally adds.

"Oh my God! You will?" Brittany squeals, her mood changing considerably after hearing Santana's acceptance.

"Yes." She confirms, nodding her head, even though the blue-eyed girl can't see it.

"Thank you so much, Santana! My wedding will be so much better with you there!" Brittany gushes excitedly; unaware of how awkward the other girl on the line is feeling.

"Oh yeah, I guess so." Santana mumbles, while Quinn is trying not to laugh at her inability to respond normally. The brunette picks up a pillow and chucks it Quinn's face.

"Do you want to meet for coffee or something so we can catch up a little?" Brittany offers kindly. It should require so much more than just some reconnecting for Santana to take part in this wedding.

"Alright, how about-" She begins, but gets cut off quickly.

"Tomorrow?" Brittany interjects. Santana's taken aback by her eagerness. She thought that she would be timid in meeting face to face again after all this time. Brittany has always been a little oblivious when it comes to things like that though. She always acts her friendly, bubbly self no matter what.

"Fine. Where?" Santana shoots out.

"How about _Sweet Endings_?" Brittany proposes, unaffected by her cold tone. "Have you ever heard of it?"

Santana knows the name but has never been there. The name sounded too frilly for her liking. She kind of remembers one of her co-workers talking about it one day. She guesses they probably sell colorfully decorated cupcakes and shit like that, as well as ridiculously long drink names for their coffee.

"Yeah, I know where that is. Meet at like 10?" Santana says shortly. This phone call is starting to sound like a business deal. She tries to disguise the nervousness that threatens to come out every time she opens her mouth. Brittany's always been able to read her like a book, but hope fully time ruined that ability. Inside, she's dreading the moment she finally lays eyes on the blonde. She wonders what she'll look like after 5 years. Probably still beautiful, graceful, and…Santana stops her mind from wandering anymore. She shouldn't be thinking these things anymore, but she can't help from picturing the woman she has loved all her life.

"Sure, sounds good." Brittany pipes in. "See you tomorrow!"

"Wait," Santana blurts out; she closes her eyes in hopes that she doesn't regret asking. "Is, your fiancé going to be there?" She holds her breath in preparation. Brittany doesn't respond for a moment. She's most likely shocked by the question and a little afraid to answer.

"No, San. I told him I wanted to meet with you alone, is that okay?" Brittany hesitantly whispers. She's pretty certain that it will be okay with Santana but this is a delicate situation.

Santana lets out a sigh of relief, but she puts back on her emotionless and slightly harsh expression to respond. "Yes, it's okay. I didn't want to be…surprised with his presence."

"I um, understand." She pauses uncomfortably. "But you know you'll have to meet him sooner or later…" Brittany reminds gently.

"I know-" Santana starts plainly, but a noise on the other end of the line stops her suddenly. Hearing that sound wiped clean any traces of the good mood she had tried to muster up.

_"Does she not want to meet me?"_ A male voice asks. Brittany attempts to muffle her voice but is quite unsuccessful because Santana can clearly make out the words spoken back.

_"No, honey," _She winces at the term of endearment. "_Santana is…just not good at meeting new people." _Brittany replies.

Santana can't help the little tug that pulls on the corner of her lips, but as soon as it's visible, it's gone once again. She can't help but admit that Brittany's explanation is dead on. She really isn't good at meeting people. Every time she meets a new person, she has the tendency to immediately judge them. Whether it's their hair, clothes, or facial structure, she notices it before they can even open their mouths' to introduce themselves. They've made an impression on Santana already. She almost can't wait to size up her fiancé and rip him to pieces in her head, criticizing every little thing that's not perfect.

Quinn caught her smile and gives her a questioning look. She doubted that she would see even a hint of a smile graze that face during this conversation.

Santana hears a rustling in the receiver.

"Sorry about that." Brittany apologizes quietly, knowing that the brunette won't be pleased. It seems weird apologizing, but for some reason she feels the need to. Maybe it's guilt for talking to her fiancé while she's also talking to Santana. Brittany knows she'll need to get used to being with them at the same time but for now it's not a good idea.

"It's fine." Santana practically spits out. "I have to go anyways. Goodbye, Brittany."

"Oka-" The blonde starts but the line clicks before she can finish.

**Please leave a review. I apologize for the wait again. I'll try to update as fast as possible. With this story, I've been trying to keep their emotions as real as possible so I've been reviewing it a lot to get it as best I can. Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm so sorry for the long wait! I've been very busy with school, and I had some writers block. I'm planning for this to be set in like January. So around present time. I'm imagining they'll plan to get married in the summer. It's a little fast but oh well. **

"I can't believe you dragged me along." Quinn mutters, grudgingly taking a sip of her coffee. She makes a face as soon as the hot liquid touches her tongue. "What the hell am I drinking?"

"I don't know, Fabray!" Santana snaps. "I just picked the one with the prettiest name."

"Hey, don't get angry at me. Keep this up and I'll leave." Quinn threatens with a glare.

The pair are currently at a table in _Sweet Endings_, sitting in pink plastic chairs, drinking overly sugary cups of coffee. They haven't stopped bickering since they walked in the door. The barista has even noticed. She keeps shooting them weird glances every time one of them makes a snarky comment.

"Okay, okay. Cool it. I'm just trying to get all my anger out before _she _gets here." Santana amends, glancing out the window.

"So does that mean you're going to be nice?" Quinn asks reproachfully, arching an eyebrow.

"I'm not sure. I agreed to do this, so I should be pleasant…enough." Santana replies, running a hand through her dark hair. Last night, the brunette promised herself she would put her feelings aside and attempt to be friendly. She knew that things wouldn't fall back to the way they were, but Santana would try at least to not be a total bitch.

"I understand, and I know it's going to be tough." Quinn nods, apparently accepting her answer.

"Yeah but- oh fuck. She's here!" Santana says in a hushed tone, her gaze trained on someone through the glass. Quinn follows her line of sight and sees the back of a blonde waking towards the entrance of the shop. The door swings open and almost as if it's in slow motion, Brittany sweeps through the threshold. Santana wants to pull her eyes away but can't. She's entranced by the way she moves. Her grace and beauty is still astounding.

Brittany looks around before she finally spots the two of them. She smiles nervously, unsure of how they'll act. When she left, she didn't just leave Santana, she left Quinn too. On the phone they were polite, but seeing them in person makes it so…real. She starts approaching them, brown and hazel eyes fixated on her.

"Hi, guys." Brittany greets kindly, giving them a small wave of the hand. Santana just stares at her, too many thoughts clogging her brain.

"Hey," Quinn pushes out her chair and stands up. She envelops the other blonde in a tight hug. "I've missed you." She breathes out into her ear.

"Me too," Brittany whispers back. Santana is still rooted to her chair, making no move to get up. When they pull apart, Quinn gestures for her to sit across from Santana.

"So before we talk about your upcoming wedding, why don't we catch up a little?" Quinn suggests, addressing Brittany. Santana clenches her jaw. She really doesn't need to be hearing this right now.

"Sure." Brittany sighs, and she begins to recount memories from the past 5 years.

* * *

><p><em>Brittany raps her knuckles on the door. She hears someone call a faint 'coming'. The door swings open and a medium height brunette stands in front of her. <em>

"_Hi-what's wrong?" Emily asks, her demeanor changing to concern after taking in the blonde's appearance. She's a friend who Brittany met while working at the dance studio. Her mascara is streaking down her face and dried tears stain her cheeks. She ushers Brittany into her apartment and quickly shuts the door. _

"_What's wrong?" Emily repeats, her green eyes searching blue ones. _

"_I-I need a place to sss-tay." Brittany manages through sobs. Emily immediately embraces her. She collapses into her arms, burying her face into her shoulder. _

"_Of course you can stay here." She replies, knowing that even though her friend didn't ask, she knows what she needs. Pulling away, she can tell something is very wrong. Her normally bright eyes are a pale shade and her brow creases with worry. "C'mon," Emily says, grabbing Brittany's hand and leading her into the spare bedroom. She knows it's not a good time to press her for answers. "You just rest now, and we'll talk about what happened later, okay?" _

_Brittany can only muster up a weak nod. Emily tugs the blankets back and helps her into bed. Once settled in, she places the covers over the crying girl. She leans down and drops a light kiss on her cheek before slipping out the door quietly, leaving the blonde to sleep._

* * *

><p><em>Brittany is cooling down after teaching a lesson when the director of the dance studio approaches her. <em>

"_Hello, Brittany." Mrs. Clark says regally, holding a clipboard tightly to her chest. _

"_Oh! Hi, um, how can I help you?" She's always felt a little nervous around this woman because of her business-like attitude. _

"_I've recently been contacted by a few important choreographers. They're looking for some dancers to perform on an upcoming North American tour. I would like to know if you're interested in this." The director explains plainly. _

_Brittany bites her tongue from responding right away. Her mind immediately goes to Santana. She soon feels the familiar pang in her heart when realization kicks in. She can't go home and tell Santana. She can't celebrate with her. She swallows the emptiness and clears her throat._

"_Yes, I'm interested." Brittany replies, forcing a small smile._

* * *

><p><em>After the concert wraps up for the night, Brittany retires to the hotel room. <em>

_Exhausted, she flops down on the white duvet, allowing her muscles to relax. She sinks into the soft blanket, the fabric rising around her limbs. Brittany turns her hand and glances at the phone in her right hand. Clicking the lock button, she brings it to her face. The thin white numbers on the top of the screen display 12:15 A.M._

_She sits up and unlocks the screen. In a few taps, she's looking at the same contact page she has been for the past few weeks. Santana. She stares at the small picture in the corner. Santana's smiling at the camera, her dark brown waves hanging loose, and those cute dimples showing in her cheeks. Brittany feels a lone tear travel down her face. She lets it run down her jaw. As her thumb hovers over the call button, the droplet drips on the screen, landing on her picture and blurring it. She wipes it away, but the wetness smudge remains. Brittany exits back to the home background, losing her courage. _

_Another time she thinks._

* * *

><p>"<em>Brittany, we have something to tell you." Lindsay, another friend of the blonde's from the studio, says cautiously. She sets her fork down and looks to Emily, who fidgets nervously in the seat next to her. <em>

"_Okaaay?" She drawls out, matching her friend's tone. _

"_But you have to promise that you won't get mad." Emily adds quickly, biting her lip._

"_There's someone here who we would like you to meet..." Brittany freezes. She hasn't even thought about meeting someone since…_

"_W-why? Who?" The blonde asks, curious as to why her friends thought it would be a good idea._

"_Well, there hasn't been anyone since…you know, so we talked and decided it would be good for you to put yourself out there again." Emily treads lightly, not wanting to upset her. _

"_We're sorry if we overstepped." Lindsay amends. _

"_No…it's okay. It's been hard for me to move on. I've been busy…" Brittany tries to explain her reasons, but she knows it's been tough since Santana. She hadn't really been with anyone else for the past 4 years. _

"_We understand." Emily and Lindsay nod to each other. "We just don't want to see you sad anymore."_

"_Thanks guys." Brittany says sincerely, shooting them a kind smile. Her friends are both extremely relieved about how she's taking their proposition. _

"_So," Emily's lips start to curl upwards, "Do you want to meet him?" _

_Brittany swallows the lump in her throat. She doesn't really have a choice. Lindsay and Emily both have the best intentions for her, so it's nice for her to know that they care so much. _

"_Sure. Is he here right now?" Lindsay nods and looks past her to beckon at someone with a hand wave. _

_Brittany turns around in her chair. Across the room, she spots a tall man getting up from a booth. He begins to walk toward them, a shy smile playing on his mouth. He's a handsome guy with dark brown hair that stands up in the middle- front of his head and is shorter and brushed down on the sides. His bright blue-green eyes twinkle as he sets his sight on her. _

"_Brittany, this is Taylor. Taylor, this is Brittany." Emily introduces the two, pointing at each other respectively._

"_Hi, it's nice to meet you." Brittany sticks out her hand. Taylor grins, moving his hand to meet hers. _

"_Same."_

_A few years later, he would become the man she's currently planning on marrying._

* * *

><p>The blonde stops reminiscing. Those emotions she felt come rushing back, making her feel dizzy all of a sudden. Brittany glances at Quinn and Santana to see how they're taking everything. The other blonde seems genuinely interested in what she's saying. Leaning forward, with her elbows on the table, Quinn is rapt with attention.<p>

Santana on the other hand, seems to have her thoughts anywhere else but on the conversation. She's staring intently out the window, her lips pursed and the muscles in her jaw flexing.

Brittany sighs. It hurts knowing that the woman she still deeply cares about, doesn't seem to have any interest in her life anymore. But what was she supposed to expect?

She tries searching those brown eyes, the same ones she used to gaze into so long ago. Brittany wonders if she can still read Santana like she used to be able to. It's something that she realizes she misses having the ability to do.

"That's great, Britt!" Quinn's cheery voice snaps her from her musing.

"Thanks. That's about it for me." She finishes softly. "How about you two?" Brittany looks between the two of them. Santana seems to be continuing to be silent. Quinn takes over instead.

"Well after we graduated, we went to law school at NYU." Brittany smiles when she hears this. She knew they both wanted to go there after college, so it makes her happy hearing that they accomplished it. A twinge in her gut makes her smile fade quickly. She couldn't help but notice that Quinn didn't mention anything from when she broke up with Santana. "We decided to move into Santana's apartment, so we could split the rent. And it was closer to NYU. After getting our degrees and passing the bar, we found jobs at a law firm in Manhattan. We're interning there for now, and then hopefully we'll be able to become partners." Quinn says proudly, intentionally skipping over the period of time right after Brittany left, knowing that it would be a touchy subject.

"Wow you guys. I'm so happy for you!" Brittany praises, her voice cracking slightly. Listening to Quinn talk about what they've done, makes her feel so guilty for not being there and missing out on everything. She wishes she could just say 'sorry', but saying that won't make up for the past 5 years.

"Thank you." Quinn replies, smiling. She looks to Santana and nudges her with her elbow when she doesn't say anything. The brunette brings her head up and glares at Quinn, who in turn, just glares back. Quinn leans toward her ear and whispers something. Santana scoffs and glances at the blue-eyed blonde, which Brittany takes as confirmation that they're probably talking about her. As Quinn pulls back, Santana moves her attention to her.

"Yeah, thanks." Santana says, her voice void of any emotion. She finally rests her gaze on Brittany's. Unlike her tone, those brown orbs show more emotion. They're filled with resentment and something…unrecognizable. Brittany swallows hard under that stare. It's penetrating and painful to be on the receiving end of it.

Quinn's eyes dart between the two of them, growing worried about the looks they're giving each other. "So um, Brittany, what exactly do you want us to help you with for your wedding?"

Brittany snaps her head in the other blonde's direction. "Oh yeah...well obviously be in my wedding. So we'll have to do dress fittings, and maybe you could come to other appointments, but I also want us to be…friends again. I know we haven't seen each other in a while, but I miss you guys." She says hopefully.

Santana feels her eyes start to sting with unshed tears. She always pictured doing all _those_ things with Brittany. The blonde was it for her. Now she's not even sure if she'll ever find someone. Even though they weren't together before, there was still the chance that Brittany could still come back to her. Not anymore. And now she wants them to be friends? Taking a deep breath, Santana blinks back the tears threatening to spill. She can't let Quinn, or Brittany, especially Brittany, see her all emotional like this. She thought she could remain stoic and just muddle through this, but apparently her body has other plans.

But of course, the one person she didn't want to notice, does. "San?" Her soft voice crashes down around her like a warm blanket.

"Don't call me that anymore." She says coolly.

"Santana-" Quinn starts to caution.

"It's okay." Brittany replies calmly. "She has the right to hate me right now." Santana's shocked that the blonde is suggesting that she hates her, but right now, all the _feelings_ she's had bottled up are coming to the surface.

"She's right, and I do." Santana narrows her eyes. Quinn gasps, she can't be serious…can she? Brittany chokes back a sob rising in her throat. Santana has never ever said she hates her.

"No, you know what? This was a mistake. I can't do this." Santana snaps, standing up. Her chair scrapes loudly against the wooden floor, making people around them glance over. She grabs her coat and shrugs it over her shoulders as she makes an attempt to leave.

"Can you sit back down? I think we need all talk this out…" Quinn states evenly, tilting her head towards her empty seat. Santana shakes her head and brushes past her chair.

But when she passes by Brittany, thin fingers grab hold of her delicate wrist.

"Please don't go. I need you." She whispers, looking up at the brunette, her face pleading and desperate. Santana flinches out of her grasp and stares down at her with unforgiving brown eyes. She remembers saying those exact words the night Brittany left. Brittany holds her gaze confidently, although the hurt that flashes across her features says otherwise.

"Funny, I said the same thing to you 5 years ago." She laughs bitterly. Quinn just watches helplessly, unsure of anything she can do now. "After I begged with you to stay, you know what you did?" Brittany drops her head, guilt washing over her in waves, each time crashing down in her heart. "Left."

"I'm sorr-" She begins quietly.

"Don't even try to apologize. I know you're not sorry." Santana warns angrily. Brittany bites her lip nervously. She's never seen Santana so furious at her.

"I know I can't say sorry enough for what I did. The way we broke up was…wrong. It shouldn't have been like that. You deserve way more than what I did to you." Brittany confesses honestly.

"I don't want to hear it." Santana retorts harshly, not able to tone down the amount of hurt in her voice. Having enough of hearing her regrets, she turns on her heel and walks out of the coffee shop. She shivers against the cold air that greets her once she steps out onto the crowded sidewalk. Santana pauses briefly, deciding on what to do. Taking a calming breath, she shoves her hands into her pockets and figures a walk will cool her down. A million thoughts are running through her mind as she bustles along the pavement.

Brittany's first instinct is to run after her. Before she does though, she shoots a quick glance at Quinn to make sure her impulse is correct. Quinn gives her a knowing look and without another second of hesitation, Brittany is racing out the door.

She whips her head from side to side, trying to see if the brunette is still in sight. Standing on her toes, she peers down the street. Halfway down the block she spots a glimpse of wavy dark hair. Praying it's Santana, she starts to run after the person. Once Brittany gets closer, she can tell it's her. She could never forget that figure. Her body is still so…_hot._ She has to tell herself to stop thinking those things because they're wrong, she's getting married to someone else…

Brittany is only a few people away from Santana when the girl she's pursing suddenly turns around. Her expression is drained of emotion, and her face looks tired. They're only a few yards apart, but it feels like there's miles between them.

"Why did you follow me?" Santana asks hoarsely, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I think we should talk. Alone." Brittany replies bluntly.

"Oh now you think we should talk? Why didn't you want to talk back then?"

"Please…"

"No! You don't get to come back into my life like this and then want to talk after all this time! I shouldn't have agreed to do this...any of this." Santana shouts. A few pedestrians toss a glance her way, but she just glares at them.

Brittany, not wanting their whole fight broadcasted to anyone who walks by, attempts to move them off to the side. She takes a few steps toward Santana and tries to pull her over but that was a big mistake. Her arm is swiftly smacked away with more force than she's ever used with her.

"Do. Not. Touch. Me." Santana growls, through gritted teeth. Brittany's eyes widen, and she raises her hands in surrender, backing up as well. The brunette sighs and makes her way over to lean on the exterior of the building next to them.

"Just hear me out, okay?" Brittany requests softly. Hearing nothing, she confesses, "I've missed you so much, Santana. I miss having my best friend around."

"Yeah well, I wish I could feel bad, but I can't. You made the choice to go, not me." Santana responds, clucking her tongue impatiently.

"I know." She continues honestly. "I've been thinking about you a lot."

"I haven't." Santana lies. Brittany has always been on her mind. Sometimes at night, when she's lying in bed, she wonders what it would be like if they were still together. Those nights are always the worst.

Brittany's face falls after hearing that. It makes Santana's heart clench when she sees her reaction, but instead of showing it, she steels herself once again.

"Oh…"

"What did you think? That I think about you all the time? That you're always in my head? Well I don't. You are no longer the center of my life anymore. You're not even part of my life at all." Santana bursts out. She presses her back to the cold cement wall and watches the cars go by as she tries to regain her composure. When she finally faces Brittany, her face almost makes her regret saying those things. Her lower lip is trembling and those bright blue eyes are clouded with so much more than just hurt.

"Why are you being like this?" Brittany mumbles lowly.

"What do you mean? This is how I am." Santana scoffs, a puff of condensation blows out of her mouth.

"No it's not."

"You don't know me." She shoots back.

"Of course I do, and you've never been like this with me." Brittany replies sadly.

"In case you forgot, you broke my heart. I'm sorry if I'm not being the same as I used to be with you!" Santana has now fully moved her body in front of Brittany's, her eyes narrowed and lips pursed.

"I just…I want things to go back to the way they were before…like when we were best friends." She says quietly, dropping her gaze to the dirty pavement underneath.

"That's never going to be possible!" Santana practically shouts.

"Why?" Brittany asks, taking a few cautious steps closer.

"Because!"

"Tell me why." Brittany demands softly, bringing her head back up to look at those dark brown eyes. They're so close now. Their foreheads are only a few inches apart. Santana closes her eyes in attempt to block out her penetrating stare. But it's too late.

"Because I loved you! I loved you so much, Brittany. I would have done anything for you. Anything. Do you know what you did to me when you walked out?" Brittany remembers that night. Tears are welling up in her eyes, but she blinks them back with a sniffle. "You broke me. You had my heart in your hands and you crushed it. After all that, do you really think we can be on any sort of good terms again?" Brittany can't hold her sobs back anymore. She lets the tears run down her face as Santana's words hit her hard. Brittany buries her face in Santana's neck. She feels the other woman tense up, but she doesn't push her away this time. She doesn't care that they probably look crazy right now. All Brittany cares about is the warmth radiating from Santana and her familiar scent invading her senses. It's overwhelming. She replays what Santana said in her mind over and over. It's then when she realizes that she said 'loved' as in past tense. Pulling back abruptly, she furrows her brow as she looks at Santana.

"Do you still love me?" Brittany questions, unable to keep the hurt out of her voice. Santana knows she let down her walls too far and answering this will just let them down even more.

"I- uh…" A loud ringing blasts through the air, quickly halting her response. Santana reaches into her pocket and sees Quinn's face illuminated on the screen. Pressing the screen she brings the phone to her ear.

"What?" She barks into the phone, although silently happy for her interruption.

"I was just calling to see if you're with Brittany." Quinn replies, ignoring her tone.

"Yes. I'm with her right now." Santana answers stiffly.

"Okay, good, you two needed to talk. I think you should reconsider your decision as well."

"I don't think so."

"Well, I bet Brittany will be able to make you change your mind." With that, Quinn hangs up quickly, leaving Santana fuming on the other end.

"Was that Quinn?" Said blonde asks curiously.

"Yes." She grumbles.

"Oh. Do you need to go?" Brittany frowns a little.

"Um, I'm not sure…" Santana hopes she doesn't ask her _that question_ again because she doesn't know how she'll answer. Should she tell the truth or protect herself from the rejection?

"Oh okay…well I probably need to get going. I told Taylor I would be home a little while ago." Brittany tells her. Immediately after uttering his name, Santana's face become hard and cold.

"Fine." Santana says plainly. "Best wishes to you two." She starts to walk away, but Brittany catches her wrist. She attempts to get free herself, but the blonde has a strong hold.

"Wait. What do you mean by that?" Brittany inquires incredulously.

"It means, I hope you and _Taylor,_" She spits out his name as if it were something disgusting on her tongue, "are happy together. Goodbye, Brittany." Santana tries to move away again, but she keeps her grip. Turning back, she looks even more annoyed. "What do you want from me? You broke my heart, and now you're back. To do what? You all of a sudden want to be friends again? You're just using this wedding as an excuse to get back in my life."

"I miss you-"

"Yeah! I know. You've told me. That doesn't mean anything." Santana exclaims, getting angrier and angrier by the second.

"I get it if you hate me, but I still care about you." Brittany responds earnestly.

"Oh you care about me? That's rich."

"I do." She protests, releasing her grasp on Santana's wrist.

"I don't give a fuck!" Brittany gasps. Those words sting and jab deep into her heart.

Santana sighs, regretting it a little after seeing her reaction. "I-I just wanted my best friend back." Brittany replies quietly. Santana feels herself soften at the familiar voice. "It's been so hard without you." The Latina furrows her brow. _It's been hard for her? What the fuck is she talking about? _As soon as her ice melts a bit, that sentence causes her to erupt in rage.

"Are you seriously saying that it's been hard for you!" Brittany recoils at hearing Santana's voice being raised towards her. "It wouldn't have had to have been hard for you if you didn't break up with me! Scratch that, you didn't even give me a formal break up. You just walked out the door, and that was the last time I saw you."

"I messed up." She whispers. "I let you go, and I'll never know if it was the right decision, but here we are. I know I'm asking a lot from you, but I need my best friend to support me right now. Please." Brittany begs, taking a step closer. She rests her hand gently on Santana's forearm. She waits for her to flinch away, but she doesn't. Looking up from where her hand is placed, she glances up to Santana's face. She's surprised by what she sees. Her features are more relaxed. Even after all this time, Brittany can still calm her down.

Santana feels like her arm is burning from the contact. It's making the heat rise up into her face. She can't process words with her hand touching her skin. It's been so long since she felt her touch.

"I-I…I'll think about it." Santana stumbles out. She mentally scolds herself for giving in so easily. Brittany cracks a smile, her white teeth showing between her pink lips. The blonde surges forward and wraps her arm around Santana. Her smaller frame seems so familiar. The brunette keeps her arms by her side. She doesn't dare reciprocate. She knows she messed up. She let her guard down and might have let in the one person she swore she wouldn't.

"Thank you! I know I don't deserve it, but I really appreciate you thinking it over." Brittany squeals, pulling back.

"Yeah…I'll talk to you later, okay?" Santana replies quietly.

"Sure, San." Brittany says watching her retreating back. She stares at her until she's turned the corner. Sighing, she hails a cab and once inside the car, she tries to convince herself it's a start.


End file.
